Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
