In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
