Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm getting married
To pizza
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
