9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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