Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
