Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize