Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
