I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Did I show you my penis last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize