dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize