Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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