so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize