I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
