she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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