who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
