They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
They are going to name an STD after you.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
