they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
