She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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