hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
