The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
