Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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