what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
