If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
