He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
