WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
