I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
