I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
