would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just forgot I was standing up.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
