this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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