Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
The convent might be a nice break from real life
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
