Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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