i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize