I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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