Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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