I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Enjoy the penises
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize