Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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