What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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