so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
