So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
dude. I can hear the air.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
