3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
