3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
