Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
