Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize