I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We just shotgunned beers for America
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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