He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
