I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
