he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
my shit smells like andre
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I can't turn off my feet"
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
