didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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