Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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