I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
