And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
