Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You just made me feel so damn special
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
