Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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