I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
