I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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