CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
