Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
