You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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