I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
