i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
