real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
