You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
pray to the hookup gods
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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