He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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