I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
